


Hate to Love

by Whipple9202



Category: Actors - Fandom
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hate, SO MUCH FLUFF, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 10:50:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12555800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whipple9202/pseuds/Whipple9202
Summary: Ever since that day he met her on the hele carrier she had treated him so coldly, Steve couldn’t figure out why





	1. Hate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think. I’m going to try to update every week. (Btw I accidentally deleted this so this is why I’m reposting it) :)

Ever since that day he met her on the hele carrier she had treated him so coldly, Steve couldn’t figure out why, but she would only speak to him if it was work related. She never called him Steve, not one time, it was always “Captain” or “Rogers”. Steve was as friendly as could be to her, but that only seem to worsen it. She even treated Tony better than she ever did him. Once, he called her “Natasha” when they were on a mission but she snarled at him saying, “It’s Agent Romanoff to you Captain Rogers”. The cold look she had given him was enough to make anyone shy away, but Steve was determined to figure out what he had done to piss her off so badly. Finally he pulled Clint aside after that particular mission and ask him about it and his only response was “She’s a tough egg to crack, and if she doesn’t want to be your friend then there’s nothing you can do about it Cap, sorry”. Steve finally decided he’d enough of her bullshit so he gave up on trying to be friends with her and started treating her the same way she treated him.  
It was a cold, rainy afternoon at the Avengers tower, Steve was in the gym and had just knocked down his sixth bag with one powerful punch when she came in. He completely ignored her, which Nat thought was odd considering how he was always trying to strike up a conversation with her, or give her a warm smile. But there was nothing but just a cold look not even acknowledging her existence. “Rogers!”, she yelled to him over the loud punching of the bags. He didn’t respond, just kept punching. This irritated Natasha tremendously, nobody ignored her. Nobody. She took a deep breath took calm herself and said “We have a mission tomorrow for a week and a half, meet me at HQ tomorrow at 0500, understood?’’. Steve didn’t answer for a few moments just to annoy her then answered  
“I was already aware of the mission, Romanoff,” and with that he walked out of the door leaving her completely speechless.


	2. The beginning

Steve went back to his room, after leaving Natasha completely speechless, took a quick shower then opened his laptop to start reading up on the mission that Fury had already emailed to him. They had to go to London, some terrorist group was threatening to kill the Prime Minister. Shit! Steve thought to himself, and why the fuck did it have to be Romanov? Just then there was a knock at his door,  
“Jarvis, who is it?’’, Steve asked  
“Agent Romanov, Sir”, the AI replied.  
“What does she want?”, Steve replied wondering what the hell she was doing up on his floor. “She wants to go over the missions file with you”, Jarvis responded.  
“Tell her I can handle it myself”, Steve answered. Just then he heard the lock click, and he knew she was coming in anyway. “I told you I can handle it myself, Romanoff”, Steve told her with irritation evident in his voice.  
“Shut up Rogers, we need to look at them together to see how were gonna go about this,” she snapped back. Steve didn’t answer just kept looking at his laptop. Natasha was astounded by his behavior, he had never ever been rude to her before. To say the least she felt quite insulted. She felt the urge to scream at him and ask him why he was treating her this way, but she damn well knew why so she kept silent and plopped down in a chair beside Steve’s. She grabbed his computer and turned it sideways so she could look at the screen to. This annoyed Steve to know end.  
“Why don’t you bring your own computer?’’, he huffed at her and got up to get himself a cup of coffee. He normally would have offered her a cup, but he was pissed at her and she probably would have declined his offer anyway.  
“Because there’s no point bringing mine when yours is right here with everything on it”, She quipped back.  
Then she got up and went and made her self a cup of coffee, shoving past Steve while doing it.  
“Please help yourself”, Steve said sarcastically.  
“Thank you, that’s exactly what I’m doing”, she said. Steve wanted so badly just to wipe that smug look off her face.  
God this women!  
He sighed inwardly and sat back down at the table. She came and joined him again. After two and a half hours with her, they finally came up with a plan with out chopping each others heads off. She finally said  
“Good Rogers, that’ll work”, with a tone in her voice that made Steve even more pissed, “see you tomorrow, bright and early only I don’t know if old men can get up that early”, she laughed and started walking out of the room leaving Steve fuming. “Good”, he muttered under his breath “the less I see her the better”. But Natasha heard him.  
DAMN!  
“ What’s that Captain,” she snapped whirling around. Steve ignored and starting walking to his room. He did not however expect to feel her small hands on his shoulder, turning him around and seeing angry eyes glaring at him.  
“What did you say?” she seethed. Steve got down and looked him right in the eyes and glowered, his voice was low and quiet but sounded so dangerous,  
“I said, the less I see you the better”, and went that he walked in his room and slammed the door in her face. Natasha tried to ignore the pang in her chest when she heard that, she really had totally turned him against her. She felt terrible, even though she would never admit that, it really did hurt. She walked back out of his room and slammed the door, walking back to her room she took of her clothes and turned on the shower.  
The next morning when her alarm went off at 4:30a.m. she rolled over slammed the snooze button. Rolling onto her back, just staring at the ceiling  
“The less I see you, the better”.  
The words still rang loud and clear and some reason the pain in her chest wouldn’t go away. Why did she care so much? She knew that she had treated him like shit for so long. And maybe this is how he feels, maybe he’s giving me a dose of my own medicine. Sighing she rolled over a got out of bed. Taking another shower to wake herself up. She dried her hair, put a little bit of makeup, ran her hand through her fuzzy, red locks. She zipped herself up into her catsuit, clicking all her weapons into place. Grabbing her Keys to her corvette and glancing at her watch 4:55. Damnit! She was gonna be late. She was never late and now Steve could make fun of her being late instead of him. She hopped in the elevator, telling Jarvis to take her to the parking garage. She started her car and squealed out. She made it in record time at 5:03 considering it was a 15 mile drive. She arrived at the quinjet, jumped out of her car tossing her keys to some Shield agent, yelling at them to go park it at the tower and if them even got a scratch on it, she would kill him. The agent looked at her wide eyes and nodded, scampering to her car. She walked up to the jet, praying that somehow Steve wouldn’t be there. But no such luck, he was standing there talking to someone on his phone and when he saw her he said  
“Yes, she’s finally showed up”, Natasha rolled her eyes. Steve hung up and turned toward her.  
“ Sleep in this morning Agent?”.  
“Got stuck in traffic,” she lied turning toward the cockpit and sitting down preparing for take off. Steve didn’t believe her but said nothing. This was gonna be one hell of a mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I accidentally deleted this so just reposting


	3. Friends

After Natasha got the jet in the air, she turned the plane on autopilot but stayed in the seat so she could avoid Steve. But the seat was incredibly uncomfortable so after 3 strait hours of it she finally decided to go find a more comfortable seat in the back of the jet.

Steve was sitting on one of the chairs reading a book, not even glancing up at her when she walked out. She plopped down in one of the seats on the opposite side of the plane and stared at the floor. She hated this, the silence, she began to wish that he would start trying to talk to her or something. At least acknowledge that she was there.  
What the hell Romanoff!? This is what I wanted.  
She must have fallen asleep because the thing she knew they were landing.  
She had know idea Steve knew how to fly but sure enough.  
But what surprised her the most was that there was a pillow under her head and a blanket draped over her. But why?  
Why would he do that. She wanted to thank him but then her pride held her back.  
She got up and rubbed her eyes and walked to the cockpit. Steve was guiding it gently down till she felt a slight thump indicating the plane had landed.

“Where are we?”, she asked sleepiness evident in her voice.

“Some secured airport, a car should be waiting to take us to our hotel”, he told her and she could tell there wasn’t as much coldness in his voice.

She nodded and turned back around to go change into some civilian clothes.  
When she came back out she was wearing skinny black jeans, a light colored peachy tank top with her black leather jacket.  
Steve had already changed into a pair of tan khakis pants and a navy blue t-shirt that showed all his muscles.  
Natasha couldn’t help but stare at him for a second but soon as he said,

“You ready?”, she jumped slightly and nodded quickly.  
She could have sworn she saw a faint smirk on Steve’s face, the bastard, she thought to herself.

They grabbed the duffle bags that had all there supplies and gear and headed off the jet.  
Natasha quickly took a look at there surroundings, it seemed to be surrounded by just mountains, the sky was cloudy and it was damp and chilly. The small airport was quite secluded.  
There was a black SUV waiting for them, Steve pulled the keys from his pocket that Hill had given him before they had left.

“You want to drive?’’, Steve asked turning to her.

She was shocked that he had even giving her that option, but quickly shook her head.  
They both climbed into the front seats and started off. It was going to be about a 4 hour drive….a four hour drive of awkward silence that was literally driving Natasha up the wall. Her stomach started growling beginning to realize that it hadn’t been fed for the past 24 hours almost.  
She felt quite embarrassed covering up her stomach with her hand as if that would prevent it from making noise.

“It’s still gonna be a couple hours, do you wanna get something to eat?”, Steve asked her.

“I’m fine, the sooner we get there the better”, She answered curtly

“Suit yourself”, Steve shrugged.

The drive seemed to last forever but when they finally reached there hotel, Steve gently shook Natasha awake she hadn’t even realized that she had fallen asleep. She blinked a few seconds and Steve could have sworn he saw a faint blush on her face.  
They climbed out the vehicle, grabbed there bags and headed inside. The receptionist at the desk greeted them in a strong English accent.

“How may I help you?”

Natasha spoke back mimicking the accent perfectly,

“A single room suite please”

“Your names?”

“Grant and Isabella Patterson”, Natasha replied pulling the names of the top of her head.

Steve looked extremely puzzled but didn’t say anything. They received there key cards and the headed up the elevator to there rooms. As soon as they opened the door Steve gasped. One bed. And there was no way in hell he was sleeping in the same bed as her.  
Natasha on the hand didn’t seem fazed by it.

“Go take your shower, don’t use all the hot water up. Ill take the floor.” Steve told her.

“I’ve taking two showers in the past 24 hours, Rogers, and I don’t need you telling me what to do”, she snapped back at him.

Steve took a deep breath to calm his nerves, watching her sashay into the bathroom and close the door.  
She came back out with in five minutes wearing a skimpy take top and a pair of black booty shorts. Steve tried very hard not to stare at her legs, and he was pretty sure she was wearing a bra either the way her nipples were poking right through the thin item.

“Bathrooms open”, she said her voice was hard. “Oh and here….(she handed him a silver ring) were supposed to be married”

“Since when? I had know idea about that until you mentioned it at the front desk”

“Because stupid do we look like siblings? Were undercover and so were married’’

“I don’t have a ring”

She held up her ring finger. A huge fancy diamond was on a silver circle, if it was real that ring looked outrageously expensive.

“I knew you wouldn’t, that’s why I brought my own”

Steve sighed and walked into the bathroom. Great. Not only was he stuck with her for a week and a half he had to be married to her? Good god how much worse can this get.  
He took as ten minute shower, letting the hot water pour over him and relax. A part of him still wished they could be friends but she had squashed that opportunity and made it clear she didn’t want that to happen. After he stepped out of the shower he dried off, slipped on a pair of boxers and shorts pulled a white tank top over his head.  
Natasha seemed to be already asleep by the time he stepped out. He could seen her fuzzy redhead sticking out from beneath the blanket. He just stood there staring at her until she rolled over, her green eyes met his blue ones and for a minute they just stared at each other.

“Goodnight Rogers, we have a long day tomorrow”

Steve was utterly shocked. There wasn’t any coldness in her voice and she slightly smiled at him. Maybe there was a chance after all. But Steve didn’t let his hopes to high.

“Night, Romanoff.”

About 4:45 in the morning, Steve woke to the sound of pitiful whimpering and ragged sobs. He was slightly disoriented from sleep so it took him a couple of seconds to realize where the sound was coming from. He glanced up on the bed and saw Natasha writhing on the bed, tears were streaming down her cheeks. Nightmare. He got up and gently sat on the edge of the bed and slowly set his hand on her arm and started gently stroking it.

‘’Its okay….shhh…its just a dream Natasha…”

It felt wrong to call her by her last name in this moment and she was to out of it to even know. He gently began shaking her continually whispering comforting things in her ear, all the while stroking her gently, lovingly almost.

“Rogers!”, she gasped sitting strait up , pupils blown wide. Looking scared almost as if she was a lost child.

“Are you okay?”

She just stared at him, wondering if he was real. Even after the way she had been treating him he still had woken her up to make sure she was okay. Slowly she nodded her head. Then feeling suddenly embarrassed about what happen she quickly glanced away, bringing her hand up to wipe at the unforbidden tears that had fallen down her cheeks.

“Hey you don’t have to be embarrassed about it, I get them to.” He reassured her, seeing her face slightly flush.

She scowled at him for a second and the said,

“You do?”

“Yeah I do, now go back to sleep Romanoff”, he said giving her a warm smile.

But as Steve laid back down on the pallet on the floor he glanced back up at her, and she still hadn’t moved.  
Her green eyes were shiny with unshed tears, and she was just staring at him.

“Romanoff”?

How was this guy so nice. She just couldn’t figure it out, after everything she had done, she thought she had totally turned him against her. But he had woken her up and spoke so gently to her and she had to admit as ashamed as she was of her nightmare, it soothed her. He didn’t even seem to judge her. He even said he had them himself, “wow I thought nothing ever bad happened to him, maybe I was wrong’’, she thought to herself.

“Natasha. You can call me Natasha”.

Steve stared at her in shock but then she spoke again.

“What are your nightmares like?”

He paused for a moment staring at her, then got up and went to sit on the bed beside her with his back against the headboard. He was even more shocked when she scooted over a placed her head on his shoulder. Her fuzzy red locks tickling the skin of his neck and slowly he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“Peggy…and Bucky, he was my best friend and she was the love of my life.” He took and deep breath and continued. “We were chasing Hydra on a train in Germany, up in the Mountains. Bucky slipped from the side of the train, and fell down hundreds of feet. I couldn’t reach his hand in time…all I had to do was reach it…and I failed him.”

Natasha glanced up at him and saw his eyes brimming with tears. A wave of guilt fell over her. This man who she had thought was so perfect ‘Americas Golden Boy’ and had nothing terrible ever happen to him. She reached up slowly and stroked his cheek gently.

“Its not you fault Steve”, she whispered.

“What about you? What was you nightmare about?”

“I can’t tell you that”, she said barely above a whisper.

“Why not?”, he ask softly.

“Because you will hate me worse than you already do”.

“I don’t hate you, Natasha”.

“You should, I’ve treated you terribly”.

“Why?”, he asked. “What did I do that made you hate me so much in the first place?”.

He actually wasn’t going to ask her that but when she said that he should hate her for how she had treated him he really wanted to know.  
She looked scared when he asked that but took a deep breath and stated,

“Because your good”, she told him not daring to look in his eyes feeling extremely ashamed and guilty.  
Steve was confused by her answer.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s because you make me feel guilty okay!?” “I’m such a bad person and your so good and so every time I’m around you, you make me feel guilty. And I know that’s no excuse or the way I’ve treated you and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness or your friendship. But if there’s a chance I could make up for what I’ve done….and of course I know I don’t deserve it or anything from you…but your so kind and I realized that your not perfect like I thought and I’m so sorry Steve I wish I could go back—

“Okay first of all your not a bad person,” Steve interrupted her rambling. “And I’ve already forgiven you Natasha”.

She stared at him her eyes filled with tears and before she knew it they were running down her cheeks. Steve cupped her cheek and wiped them away with his thumb.

“H-how could you do that?”, she whispered. “Are you saying we can be friends still?”.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Natasha”, he said a warm smile on his face.

With that she through herself into his arms and clung onto him. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her with equal intensity. He kissed the top of her head and just held her for a little while, until she pulled back and whispered, “Thank you, you have know idea how much that means to me”.

He smiled at her and whispered back, “Anytime”.

“Can you stay here the rest of the night?”, she whispered. He smiled.

“Of course”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. I really don’t know how to write missions that much so I kinda have an idea for the next chapter. Anyway leave comments. Constructive criticism is welcome


	4. Home again

Their week and half mission turned out to be a complete success, with only a couple of bumps, very sore and completely exhausted, but Natasha and Steve became best of friends since that night .  
When Steve and Natasha arrived back at the Stark Tower laughing a giggling with there arms wrapped around each other, everyone was speechless because everyone knew how much Natasha hated Steve. Clint was beaming, Tony was standing there with his jaw on the floor, Sam was trying to say something but it wasn’t quite coming out, Wanda was just cheesing tremendously and Thor just walked up to them and wrapped both his arms around them in large bear hug.

“Natasha, Steve, welcome back!”.

“Thank you Thor”, they both replied.

Tony was the first to say something.  
“Did something happen between the two of you that I don’t know about bc I’m pretty sure Red hated you cap.”

Natasha looked away in embarrassment and shame, but Steve immediately sent Tony a glare and drew Nat into side giving her a half hug. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her and leaned down and kissed her forehead. Then he turned to Tony and the rest of the team who had their jaws of the floor with their eyes wide open and stated.

“Well you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

And with that he pulled her with him to the elevator to go clean up and get some much needed sleep.  
Once inside the elevator Steve pulled her into a full hug. Her head rested on his chest and she closed her eyes exhaustion creeping in.

“I did hate you, you know,” she mumbled against his chest.

“Shush, you don’t now that’s all that matters,” he told her.

Steve took them to her floor expecting her to want to get off, but soon as the elevator stopped she starting pulling Steve with her.

“Come with me,” she whined.

“Nat, you need to get some sleep and a shower, and so do I.”

“Well take one with me,”

Steve was taken back by that, they had barely become friends and she already want him to shower with her?

“Nat—

“Oh nothing like that Rogers, I just don’t think I can trust my own feet to stand any longer and I’m pretty sure I can’t wash my own hair,” she pleaded with puppy dog eyes and chewing on her bottom lip looking quite nervous. Well how could he say no to her.

“Okay let me just go to my floor and get some stuff, I’ll back her in 5. Just make sure you have the shower hot by the time I get back,” he grinned at her. She nodded, and he went off to get his stuff.

When he came back to her room he heard the shower already going. Stepping into the bathroom it was steamy and hot and there was a great deal of cussing from inside the glass doors. He hurried out of his clothes and stepped inside the hot water. Natasha was desperately trying to clean herself and was grunting in pain. Her soft skin was littered with black and blue bruises. He wrapped his arms around her small waist and pulled her petite body to him, her back against his chest.

“I can’t do it!”, she huffed frustrated.

“Here let me,” he told her gently taking the washcloth from her and gently began wiping the grime off her face.

She relaxed into his arms and just let him clean her. It wasn’t sensual at all. She knew they had only been friends for like what 2 weeks maybe, but it felt like it had been forever. She wished she had never treated him that way and still felt guilty, but Steve had completely forgiven her which she was forever grateful.  
He lathered her body with her sweet body wash. All over her neck the her breast gently, down her stomach then taking the wash and squirting it on the washcloth and handing it to her figuring she would want to do her intimate parts. But she just shook her head. So he rubbed the cloth gently on her inner thighs then between her legs but not wasting anytime down there, having never done something like this before. But Natasha was way to tired to take care of her self so it didn’t bother him one bit.  
He then turned her around so he could pore more down her back and over her hips. Reaching her floral shampoo off the shelf he gently began massaging her hair with it. Once he got her completely clean Natasha was practically asleep on his chest. He had one strong arm secured around her waist to prevent her from falling. He quickly washed his own hair with one arm and did the best he could to get clean with her head on his chest.  
Kissing the top of her head he then turned the spray off and pulled the warm towel off the wrack and wrapped it around her. He carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed.  
He went back into the bedroom to get dressed into some shorts and a tank top that he had brought from his room . When he came back to her bedroom she was still sleeping peacefully all wrapped up in the towel. Walking to her dresser he searched through her drawers till he found a pair of panties and a thin white camisole. He gently unwrapped her from the towel, careful not to wake her up and slide the panties up her legs bringing his hand under her bottom to lift her up and sliding them into place. Then carefully pulling the camisole over her head. Picking her up as smoothly as he could, he pulled the covers back and laid her down, crawling in behind her. He pulled her on top of him to where her legs were on either side of his and her face nuzzled into his neck with her arms loosely wrapped around his sides. He kissed the side of her temple fondly. He couldn’t help but notice how young and beautiful she looked, so sweet almost child like. It was the most vulnerable time he had ever seen her. She looked positively adorable the way her nose twitched and she was barely sucking on her bottom lip. After that he silently slipped off into dream land with the most beautiful women in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short but let me know what y’all think.  
> Correct me if there are mistakes:)


	5. You’re my best friend

Steve awoke to some warm laying on top of him. He look down at the form sprawled across his body. She was drooling on his chest and clutching his sides like she never wanted to let go. Her face was nuzzled into his neck and her fuzzy locks tickling his chin. Steve pressed his nose into her hair inhaling her scent. She smelled so sweet, like roses and lilies. In this moment he had never felt more at home, he felt as if in the short time span of there friendship that they had known each other forever. He almost felt as if he was falling in love with her.

 

Steve actually wasn’t quite sure how long he was staring at her, but he figured at least an hour or so. He couldn’t help it she was so beautiful and peaceful. She was like an angel. She began to stir after a little while lifting her head up slightly and blinked at him for a minute letting her eyes adjust to the bright sun light streaming into the room. Steve smiled at her warmly but she just glared and went back to burying her face into his neck. Steve kissed her head and said.

“Well someone’s not a morning person,”

 

“Be quiet…wanna sleep some more…” she mumbled into his neck.

 

He chuckled slightly, “How are you feeling?”.

 

“Sore,” she replied.

 

“ Mmmm, I’m gonna go make you some hot tea and get some breakfast for you, how does that sound?”

 

“No, just stay here and hold me”

 

“Nat you need some food in your system, you’ll feel better if you do. Just stay in bed while I take care of it okay?”

 

“Okay, but hurry”.

 

He smiled and gently lifted her off him and crawled out then placing her in the warm spot that he had slept on. She snuggled back down into the blankets and starting drifting off again. 

 

When Steve came back about 30 minutes with her breakfast she was buried underneath her pillow and her blanket was pulled up to her neck. Steve wasn’t sure how she was breathing.

He leaned over and gently shook her.

 

“Nat, wake up honey,” he spoke quietly to her.

 

“…just...five...more...minutes..”, she grunted to him, her voice was muffled because of the pillow.

 

Steve chuckled slightly and set the tray food down on the nightstand by her bed and rolled her over. But she refused to open her eyes, pretending she was still sleeping. Of course Steve didn’t buy it and poked her side gently with his fingers. He watched her eyelids slightly flutter, but she still wouldn’t open them. He began tickling both her sides relentlessly and then before she could stop herself she burst into fit of giggles. It was the best sound Steve had ever heard.

 

“S-ste-ve!”, she squealed, “s-sto-p it”

He laughed at her silliness until she began to cough, Steve figured it was from all the laughing but then it got more violent and she curled up into a fetal position pressing her face into the pillow to muffle it. He began to rub her back to try to sooth her but the coughing didn’t stop until she began to choking and Steve became quite alarmed realizing that it wasn’t from just the laughing. Something was wrong!

 

“Natasha are you okay?”, he pulled her up into a sitting position and then he saw it. Blood. It was on her hand, he must had not seen it with her head buried in the pillow. And now there was a big red spot on it.

 

“Natasha!”, he gasped, “what’s wrong!?”.

 

“I-I c-can’t, S-t-ev-e,” she choked out and he could hear fear in her voice.

 

“You can’t what baby!?” he answered terror in his own chest.

 

“C-can’t breath”, and by this time she was gasping and grasping onto him tears streaming down her face. Then Steve yelled.

 

“JARVIS, GET DR. BANNER AND DR. CHO AND HAVE THEM MEET ME DOWN AT THE LAB NOW! SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH NAT!!”

 

“Right away, Sir”, the AI responded.

 

She was still coughing violently, blood spilling out of her mouth. He scooped her up, wrapped a blanket around her and ran do the door.

 

“JARVIS!”, he yelled, “open the elevator doors for me.

 

Jarvis had the doors already waiting for him by the time he reached the end of the hall. He looked down at Natasha once he stepped on. Her cough were getting weaker and her face was white as a ghost. Her white camisole was stained red. Steve had never been so scared in his life.

 

“Natasha look at me!”, he told her frantically. She looked up at him and the look in her eyes was so painful Steve thought a punch in the gut would have felt better. There was utter desperation and he could see she was begging him to make her feel better. GOD! Could this elevator move faster.

 

“Sir, Dr. Banner is waiting for you,” Jarvis spoke up

 

“And Dr. Cho?...Can this elevator go any faster?!?”, Steve was beyond panic right now.

 

“Dr. Cho is in Europe right now, and you have arrived.” The AI responded just as the elevator dinged indicating they were there.

 

“Nat, stay with me okay? Were almost there baby,” Steve frantically whispered to her.

 

She couldn’t really respond, but she slightly nodded her head. He burst through the lab door, and Bruce immediately told him to lay her down on the operating table, that was only used in case of emergency’s.

 

“Jarvis, run a full body scan on Natasha,” commanded the AI. Then he turned to Steve.

 

“What happened?”

 

“She was laughing really hard, and then began to cough…and it kept getting worse and I didn’t realize she was coughing up blood….God I should never have tickled her…”

 

“You were tickling the Black Widow?”, Bruce asked shocked.

 

“Bruce, please!”, Steve really didn’t care about that right now all he wanted was to find out what was wrong with her.

 

“Right, sorry. Jarvis what we got?”

 

“Sir, Agent Romanoff appears to be internally bleeding in her lower intestines. She will need surgery to repair the damage.”

 

Steve gasped, “Why what’s wrong…how did this happen!?!”

 

“Steve it could have been from the mission, but that’s not important right now, we know what’s wrong and now we have to fix it okay? We can worry about the rest later.’’

 

“Sir, Agent Romanoff is loosing consciousness,” Jarvis informed them.

 

“Okay we got to work fast”, Bruce starting hurrying and getting the trays ready. Right then Tony busted through the door.

 

“Hey I got here as quick has I could…Holy Shit….. what’s going on?” he asked when he saw Natasha.

 

“Tony gown up as fast as you can, Steve you got to leave.”

 

“NO!”, Steve yelled which shocked Tony and Bruce. “I’m not leaving her…I can’t… and how does Tony know how to do surgery!?”

 

“I know more than you think, Rogers”, Tony stated rather offended.

 

“Steve,” Bruce started but Steve interrupted.

 

“No I’m staying, I can handle it and that’s final.”

 

Tony looked at Bruce and sighed, “Cap listen to me,” Tony started as Bruce began to put that Anesthesia mask on her face “When we cut her open blood’s going everywhere, you have to go and if we don’t get in there now…she’s going to drown in her own blood,”

 

Steve looked down at Bruce who was now putting a trachea in her throat, he winced slightly. Damnit why did this have to happen to her!?

 

“Okay….” He finally sighed. But then he leaned down and kissed her forehead and whispered,

 

“Come back to me okay?” then he turned to Tony and Bruce who were now prepping to cut her open and hooking her up with tubes and wires.

 

“Do everything in you power that she’s going to be okay.” They nodded and Steve left the room.

 

They next hours were torturous, Steve paced back and forth waiting for something, to know if she was gonna be okay.

 

“She’s going to be fine, man.”

 

Steve turned around to see Clint standing there with the rest of the team. They all came for him. For Natasha. Of course they did they were his family.

 

“Nat’s been through worse,” Clint said.

 

“I made her laugh….god why was I even tickling her I should have not—

 

“Hey,” Sam cut in, “this is not your fault….Wait! you were tickling the black widow?”

 

“Seriously?”, Steve asked frustrated. “Guys she could die!”, he half yelled.

 

But before anyone could reply to, the lab doors opened and Bruce walked out, the front of his gown stained with blood. Steve immediately rushed to him.

 

“Before you pound me with questions, She’s going to be just fine.” Steve sighed in relief.

 

“See? Told you.” Clint smirked at him.

 

“Can I go see her?” Steve asked, about ready to go crazy not knowing if she was okay.

 

“You may,’’ Bruce barely got out before Steve was already brushing past him and practically running to the doors.

 

Natasha was laying on the bed, pale and so fragile looking. She seamed to be sleeping peacefully despite all that had happened to her. Tony was cleaning up all the blood that had dripped onto the floor and throwing all the bloodied stuffing and gauze away. Soon as he was done he left them room to give Steve some time alone with her.

He walked up to her bed and took her small, cold, white hand in his large warm ones.

 

“Nat..”, he whispered “you got to wake up baby’’. He pressed his lips against this corner of her pale white ones.

‘’I’m so sorry Natasha…I should have stayed in bed with you like you wanted…and damnit it I’m so sorry for tickling you—

 

“Don’t worry I’m going to get you back for that, Rogers.” Natasha spoke her voice sounding dry.

 

“Nat!?”

 

“Hey soldier,” she slightly quirked him lips up and cracked her eyes open. Then she started coughing slightly thin hissed in pain from the incision in her stomach. Steve immediately got up getting her a glass of water. Soon as he returned with a glass with a straw in it, he cupped the back of her neck and helped her slightly lift her head. He brought the straw to her mouth and she slowly sucked, little bits at a time.

 

“Thanks,” she said once she was done her voice sounding better.

 

“Of course,” he smiled at her and setting the glass back down on the small table beside the bed.

 

“Are you comfortable?”, he asked her.

 

“Well I mean as comfortable as I can be in this situation…I mean I have no clothes on underneath this sheet.” She gave him a small smile.

 

“I’m sorry,” he answered reaching forward and running his fingers through her matted curls.

 

“Stop apologizing, Steve, it wasn’t your fault,’’

 

“I shouldn’t—

 

“No,” she said firmly, “ we were playing and neither knew that could happen, if it hadn’t happened from me coughing then it would have happened from something else.’’

 

“Tasha—” he tried again, but was interrupted

 

“Steve how could you have know I was bleeding? I felt perfectly fine…I mean I was sore…but there was know way of knowing. It must of happened when we were fighting back there.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked her softly.

 

“Tell you what, that I was kicked in the stomach? Come on Steve, that’s happen to me so many times before, how could you have know that this time it was gonna make me rupture inside. It was a coincidence okay? Say yes ma’am”, she commanded slightly teasing but she still meant it.

 

“Yes, Ma’am,” he said rolling his eyes, but then he leaned over and kissed her cheek, her forehead, her hair, her ear, with sweet soft kisses that made tears come into Natasha’s eyes.

 

“I thought I was gonna loose you, you know”, he whispered to her and she squeezed his hand softly “your my best friend, Natasha and if I lost you….I don’t know what I would do, and I know that sounds cheesy…buts its true.

 

Tears welled up in her eyes, “Steve, say that I’m your best friend again,” she whispered

 

“Your my best friend”, he smiled down at her.

 

“Again,” she commanded

 

“Your my best friend, Nat”

 

“Oh Steve,” she smiled through her tears reaching up with her arms wanting him to hold her. He put the side of the rail on the bed down so he could gently slide his arm underneath her head and ever so carefully pulling her so her head was up against his chest.

 

“Those words mean the world to me,” she whispered to him “and your not gonna loose me”

 

“Promise?”

 

“I promise only if you promise this same thing, because I can’t loose you either Steve”

 

“Okay I promise,” he replied kissing her forehead again. When he noticed her eyes began to droop he whispered

 

“Get some rest, Nat.”

 

“Be here when I wake up?”

 

“Always,” he replied with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I actually wasn’t intending for the chapter to go this way and I don’t know how to write medical stuff but I hope you like it. Leave comments:)


	6. Recovery

After Natasha’s surgery Bruce and Tony told her that she would not be able to go on a mission until her incision was completely healed. Natasha was about to complain but then she noticed Steve looking at her with eyes that said that there was no room for argument so she kept quiet. By the time night came she wanted to go back to her room, but Bruce said that it would be best if she stayed a night there just for precaution. After that he walked out after wishing them goodnight, but Natasha wasn’t giving up that easy on going to her own bed.

 

“My bed is so much more comfortable and its only two floors up. If anything happened it would take only a minute to come here,” Natasha whined.

 

“Nat no more arguing, Your staying the night and that’s final,” Steve said looking at her like a mother would if she was a child in trouble, but she could still see worriedness in his eyes.

 

She pouted. “But Steve its only—

 

“Hush Natasha,” he groaned, “we’ve already decided this is what’s best okay? So stop acting like a baby,’’ he said slightly grinning at her. Natasha just narrowed her eyes at him and decided to used a different method that she knew would make Steve give in. She slightly rolled over onto her side facing away from him, wincing because of the incision.

Steve just watched her, and thought she was being unreasonable and feeling sorry for herself until he heard sniffling.

 

“Nat, come on its okay….just one night and you can go back to your bed. What’s wrong with you huh? Why are you so wanting to go to your bed,?” he walked around the other side of the bed and slightly kneeled down to look at her. Her eyes were teary and she looked so forlorn that Steve heart hurt just looking at her.

 

“Tash…’’ he whispered bringing his hand up to cup her cheek and gently stroke it, “does it really matter that much?”

 

She nodded and he sighed, “Alright let me go talk to Bruce,” just as he was turning to walk away he noticed her smirk. Ha! So she was playing him. He snapped back around to look at her and but her sad features were all back up but this time Steve wasn’t fooled. Whoops.

 

“Are you kidding me Natasha?”, he sighed frustrated.

 

“I don’t know what your talking about,” she tried feigning innocents.

 

“Mmm I bet you don’t. You were faking all of that weren’t you?”, Natasha sighed.

 

“Well it was worth a shot,” Natasha griped, and cursed under her breath. Steve just chuckled and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders.

 

“You need anymore pain meds before you go to sleep?” he asked her.

 

“I’ve dealt with a lot of pain worse than this, Rogers,” she stated coldly.

 

Steve just knew she was desperately trying to get her own way in any way possible but it wasn’t gonna work. Sometimes Natasha didn’t know what was best for her.

 

“Okay goodnight then,” he said and started heading to the door so leave.

 

“Where do you think your going?”, he smirked knowing that she wouldn’t want him to leave, and knew just how to play her.

 

“To bed…is that a problem?”, Natasha glared at him and pressed her lips together.

 

“Nope, no problem.” Steve smiled and nodded.

 

“Goodnight Nat, I’ll see you bright and early”, and with that he walked out leaving Natasha fuming. She wanted him to stay. They hadn’t spent a night apart since the mission and somehow she couldn’t stand the idea of him not being there when she woke up.  
She glanced at her phone at the table beside her bed that Steve had brought down earlier from her room.

‘Don’t do it Natasha’ the voice in the back of her head said. But she couldn’t help it. She reached over and picked her phone up and texted Steve.

 

‘Please come back’.

 

It only took seconds to respond , like he was expecting her to. The bastard! She thought to herself.

 

‘Be there in a few, got to finish my shower.’

 

  
Natasha all of a sudden felt the need to use the bathroom. She hadn’t the all day and her body had been pumped full of fluids the entire day. She glanced around the room and spotted the bathroom in the corner. She knew she should really wait for Steve to get there, but she really had to go and figured she would be fine since the surgery was on her abdomen and if she went slow she could make it.

 

“Jarvis lower my bed,” she commanded.

 

“Miss Romanoff, Mr. Rogers has given me strict orders not—

 

“Shut up J, I need to use the bathroom,” Natasha interrupted.

 

The bed lowered immediately and she ever so carefully sat up. Pain shot through her stomach and she began wishing she had take the pain meds that Steve had asked her if she needed. She reached down and lowered the side of her bedrail and slowly pushed her legs over the side. But quickly becoming aware that she still didn’t have a stitch of clothing on. She reached down and grabbed the sheet tightly and wrapped it around her self the best she could and carefully lowered her feet onto the floor. She grabbed her IV pole for support and slowly stood up.

Feeling a wave of nausea and dizziness fall over her she squeezed her eyes shut until the wave passed her. Carefully she starting walking to the bathroom one step at a time pushing her IV pole with her. Unfortunately the IV wire caught underneath her feet and because the room was dim, she tripped ripping the needle from her arm. She felt something in her stomach snap and a sharp pain stabbed her. She cried out in pain and fell to the floor, the IV pole crashing on top of her. Her sheet was only covering her upper thighs. She reached her hand down to her incision and felt wetness. SHIT! Her stiches may have popped and she could feel blood oozing out and the pain was unbearable. She tried to blink back the tears but it wasn’t working. She let out a raw sob a pain.

 

“Jarvis….”, she called her voice shaky, “tell Steve to hurry”.

 

All of a sudden she felt her body release the fluids she had been trying to hold back, but couldn’t stop it anymore. God this was so humiliating. But the pain was so intense she couldn’t really focus on that right now.

Steve burst through the door seconds later and when he saw her on the floor curled on balled he panicked.

 

“Nat!”, he shouted at her, running to her side. “Jarvis turn the lights on now!’’, he commanded.

Once the room lit up Steve was able to take a good look at what happened. Her incision wasn’t bleeding to much, and she was naked from the waist up and there was a pool of liquid around her hips and Natasha was crying softly which confused Steve even more.

 

“Tasha, what happened?”, he whispered to her.

 

“I…was trying to use to bathroom….and I tripped”, she choked up. Then Steve realized what had happen and felt absolutely terrible wishing her had never left her.

 

“Shhh its okay lets get you cleaned up and then we will have Bruce look at your incision, I think you may have popped some stiches.” He kissed her head and gently scooped her up leaving the sheet on the floor since it was ruined anyway. He laid her naked body on the bed, and pulled a clean sheet from the end of the bed up to her waist, while he went to get some towels to clean her.

He came back with a warm cloth and some gauze and started gently dabbing the incision through the bandage it had wrapped around it and she gasped in pain.

 

“I’m sorry”, he whispered, “I’ll get you some medicine right after I’m done okay?’’. She grimly nodded, and gritted her teeth.

 

Once he was done cleaning her up from the accident she had, he went to the bag he had brought down with him, but had dropped on the floor when he had seen Natasha. He pulled out a pair of panties and one of his T-shirts figuring Natasha wouldn’t want to be laying naked anymore.

 

“Steve it hurts so fucking much,” she whimpered. He glanced down at her incision that was still oozing as he pulled slide his T-shirt into place on her.

 

“Okay I’m gonna call Bruce now and were going to look at this and make sure you didn’t pop anything and we will get you some medicine.”

 

“Jarvis can you—

 

“I’m here,” Bruce said and walked through the door, in his Pj’s, “Jarvis already alerted me,” then he looked at Natasha and sighed, “Okay lets look at it,”.

 

Steve pulled His T-shirt up exposing her wound. Bruce put his glassed on and sighed again and unwrapped it as careful as he could, “I don’t think you popped anything, but I’m going to re-wrap it.”

 

“Can you get her some pain meds, she’s hurting pretty bad.” Steve told him.

 

“Yes ill give her some morphine soon as I’m done with this although it looks like I’m going to have to start another IV since the other got pulled out.”

Natasha was biting her lip hard and squeezing Steve’s hand while Bruce re-wrapped her incision, the pain was intense. Finally once he was done he started an IV, pumping Morphine through it to help ease the pain. She sighed in relief once it took affect.

 

“When will I be able to take a proper shower or use the bathroom?,” Natasha grumbled.

 

“Natasha, listen. You have to heal before you get up and move around. I know you will hate this but you can use a catheter or a bedpan--

 

“Hell no!!”, Natasha interrupted, “there is no way in hell I’m using one of those, I feel degraded enough.”

 

“Could I carry her?”, Steve asked.

 

Natasha looked up at Bruce with hopeful eyes.

 

He sighed. “Alright, if that’s what you would rather,” she nodded.

 

“Can I still go back to my room tomorrow?” she asked worried that he would make her stay another day because of the fall.

 

“Yes you may, but don’t pull another stunt like this again or will put you on strict bed rest,” Bruce half teased her and Natasha scowled.

 

“I won’t do it again, but its not like I was trying to get hurt in the first place,” She griped at him.

 

  
“We know you weren’t, Nat, but even when you go back to your room you have to still be very careful,” Steve told her gently. Bruce nodded in agreement.

 

“Fine,” Natasha answered rolling her eyes.

 

“Well if there’s nothing else you need I’m going back to bed,’’ Natasha shook her head and he smiled and nodded and walked out. Natasha was exhausted after such a long day and the drug was making her very sleepy. She yawned and Steve smiled and pulled the blanket up over her shoulders. She smiled lazily up at him and he grinned back at her.

 

“You need anything else,” he asked smiling down upon her.

 

“Hold me,” she mumbled. “I want my teddy bear”

 

“Nat that not a very good idea, this bed is small but ill be right here if you need anything okay?”

 

She nodded to tired to argue and closed her eyes. Steve pulled up the small cot that Tony had brought in earlier since he was going to spend the night with her and wouldn’t have to sleep in a chair.  
Sleep soon followed him, but was woken with what seemed like minutes later. But when he glanced at the clock it read 2:30a.m. so he must have gotten some sleep.

 

“Steve, Steve, wake up,” he heard Natasha’s frantic voice. He was slightly disorientated, and rubbing his eyes.

 

“What’s, wrong Nat?”, he asked groggily. He got up from his bed and flicked the small lamp on the table beside her bed.

 

Her eyes were wide, but quickly squeezed them shut soon as he turned the light on and starting digging her knuckles into eyes, “I got to use the bathroom,” she mumbled to him, embarrassed that the she the ‘black widow’ needed help using the bathroom, Gosh how pathetic she felt.

 

“Hey its okay, Tash”, he half-whispered to her seeing her uncomfortable. He gently slid his strong big arm underneath her thighs and the other secured around her shoulder’s, and with his free hand he pushed the IV pole with them to the bathroom. He gently set her down on the toilet and Natasha instantly gripped Steve’s sides and pressed her head into his stomach.

 

“You okay,?” Steve asked, running his hand in circles on her back.

 

“Yea just dizzy,” she mumbled into his shirt, “can you pull my T-shirt up a bit, its stuck under me,”.

 

  
“I have some underwear for you I brought from your room earlier, if you want them,” he told her while he adjusted her, having forgotten to give them to her earlier.

 

“K, thanks but go out now so I can pee,” she slightly smirked at him.

 

“You gonna be okay?”, he asked still not sure about leaving her.

 

She rolled her eyes, “Yes Steve, Go!!”.

 

  
The rest of the night went smoothly, after Steve had tucked her back into bed, they both had fallen into a deep sleep.

 

* * * * 

 

“STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WAKE UP!!’’, Natasha’s loud voice jolted Steve wide awake.

 

“What the hell Natasha,” he muttered still half asleep.

 

“It’s morning and I want to go back to my room, I’ve been here forever.”

 

“Nat you’ve been here barely two days and were not leaving until Bruce finalized it and he’s probably still sleeping like you should be,’’ he mumbled into his pillow. He sat up to look at her and all the irritation from being woken up so loudly was gone. Her bed was already upright and she was grinning at him, her eyes twinkling, and her scarlet locks disheveled around her this face. He glanced at the clock. 7:02a.m.

 

“Natasha its barely 7, honey,” he sighed at her.

 

“I don’t care, I didn’t sleep good and I want my own bed right now, so take me there.” She demanded.

 

“Jarvis is Bruce awake,?” Steve asked the AI.

 

“Yes, sir,” Jarvis responded, “and he said he would be down in a few minutes

 

Bruce came down a few moments later and finally dismissed Natasha, after going over what she can and can’t do. Giving her pain meds to take with her, and that if she wanted to take a bath she could not get the incision wet and gave her some sort of plastic wrap she could put over it. Finally he told them they could leave.

Steve pushed Natasha in an wheelchair much to her chagrin, but he insisted telling her it would be much more comfortable than carrying her.  
When they arrived back to her room, it was decorated in get well balloons and flowers and there was a huge pink stuffed teddy bear on the bed.

 

Natasha looked up at Steve and grinned, “Did you do all this?”

 

“Only the teddy bear, I think the rest of the team sent balloons and flowers,” Steve replied.

 

“I love it, thank you Steve…for everything,” She said looking up at him through her emerald eyes.

 

“You don’t have to thank me Nat,” he said smiling at her, “now you wanna get in that bed of yours that you’ve been driving everyone nuts about?” he teased.

 

She glared at him for a minute then replied, “Fuck yes!”.

 

“Language, Nat,” he reproached teasingly.

 

“Shut up Steve, and put me in my bed,” she demanded like a spoiled child.

 

“Of course your majesty,” he joked, picking her up gently and laying her down in her soft white comforter. She grabbed the big, pink teddy bear and nuzzled its neck and wrapping her arms around it.

 

“Mmm I love it, its so soft and cuddly,”

 

“Well I’m glad you like it. Now I’m going to go get you some breakfast—

 

“—like you did that last time and I nearly choked to death—” Nat interrupted.

 

“Tasha I’m so sorry—”

 

“Steve I was kidding you, now go I’m starving.

 

When he came back Natasha was sleeping all curled up with the teddy bear. He hated to wake her up but she had to eat.

 

“Nat, wake up I got your food,” he whispered gently shaking her.

 

“I’m awake,” she grumbled.

 

She tried sitting up but cried out in pain.

 

“Whoa, whoa! Easy Nat, I got you okay?” Steve put he pillow against her head board and hooked his hands under her armpits and gently pulled her up.  
He got her some pain meds and glass of milk to make it go down easier. She ate most of her breakfast, with a lot of prompting from Steve, but she managed. She felt very sleepy halfway through, the drugs taking affect so Steve helped her settle down into the blankets, her teddy bear tucked at her side.

 

  
For the next several days Steve waited on Natasha hand and foot. Whether it was cooking her something to eat, give her a bath, and just push her around the tower, he was there always. Making sure she was okay if she needed more pain killers and Natasha was becoming extremely spoiled. If Steve couldn’t come right when she wanted him to she would pitch a little fit. But Steve didn’t mind a bit. The two were inseparable and became extremely close during the time of her recovery.  
By the third day of her being back in her room Natasha was starting to walk a little with a pillow pressed against her stomach just in case she fell. Steve told her she could only do this if he or one of the other team members were around.  
Of course they still had to take daily check ups with Bruce to re-wrap her bandage and to make sure her wound was healing right, but Natasha was definitely on the mend. 

She hated being cooped up in the place, Steve tried his best to entertain her and would bring movies for them to watch or board games.  
It kept her quiet for a while but when they were halfway through a movie she reached up and turned it off.

 

“Nat..”, Steve whined, “why’d you do that?”

 

“Because I have a plan,” she said looking very mischievous.

 

“Oh no,” Steve groaned, “what is it?”

 

“We are gonna go torture Clint in his sleep,” she said simpering at him.

 

“Nat ser—

 

“Yes I’m dead serious, I’m sick and tired of not being able to do anything and I still cant walk very far so your gonna push me in the wheel chair to his room and I’m going to make him pee in his pants.” She stated and the tone in her voice seemed to leave Steve no option.

 

Steve on the other hand was flabbergasted, “Nat no that’s not nice, and besides how are you gonna make him pee his pants anyway?”

 

“Classic prank Steve, dunking a sleeping person's hand in water to make them urinate. Supposedly, the unconscious sensation of water will stimulate a sleeper's bladder and burst open the embarrassing floodgates.” She said starting to giggle. “And I’ve been dying to do it to him for ages, so please, please, please help me,” she begged him putting on her best puppy dog eyes.

 

“Fine, but if we get caught your taking all the blame,” he said smirking at her. Natasha smiled and said of course she would and that they would head to his room at 11:45p.m. no later, since Clint always went to bed at 11 sharp, but just in case he wasn’t asleep they would head there forty-five minutes later. She planned it out as if it was a real mission. It was 10:59 by the time they were done planning. Natasha would pick Clint’s lock and Steve would push her in he wheelchair while she carried a bowl of water in her lap. She would quickly put Clint’s had in the water and Steve will push her out quietly and fast as he could.

 

“Oh wait one more thing we have to have for this mission.” Nat said extremely excited.

 

Steve laughed, “What’s that?”

 

“A name, we have to name this mission,’’

 

“Well what do you have in mind?” Steve asked trying to keep his laughter down, but he could see Natasha was very excited about this so he decided he would do whatever she wanted to keep her happy.

 

“Operation Floodgates,” She said a huge grin plastered on her face.

 

Steve burst into laughter, “ Okay that’ll work, you ready for this mission Agent Romanoff?” he asked using his Captain America voice.

 

“Yes, Sir Captain Rogers,” she giggled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s actually true about putting your hand in water I actually googled it lol   
>  Please comment and let me know if you liked it:):)


	7. Those three words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took so long to update anyway I hope you enjoy it. Let me know if there are any mistakes:)

The next several weeks went by as a blur, Natasha was fully recovered by now. Her incision had healed beautifully leaving only a very small scar. Now that she was healed, however, Nat and Steve went running early every morning, and spent countless hours in the gym making up for all the lost time they hadn’t been there.

 

“What do you want to do today,” Steve asked her as they were leaving the gym, both covered in sweat.

 

“Take a shower, then oh, I don’t know go shopping, watch a movie-oh I know this new horror movie just came out I want to see.” She said eagerly her sweaty, face smiling widely. 

 

Steve grinned at her, he would never get tired seeing her smile, “Whatever you want, princess,” he teased her.

 

She rolled her eyes at him, “Wanna shower together?”

 

Steve raised his eyebrows at her in question, “I mean to save time,” Nat said quickly looking away nervously hoping she hadn’t fucked it up by making her look like she wanted to sleep with him.

 

“Nat I-I really um….don’t think that’s a good idea, unless you really need me to—"

 

“No no, Steve its fine, I-I…I’m sorry I even said that,” she stammered, feeling her cheeks burn in embarrassment. She turned away and sped to the elevator as fast as she could as not to embarrass herself any farther. Steve was about to call after her and reassure her that everything was okay when he her snickering behind him. He turned around and saw Clint perched on the top of the refrigerator eating an apple.

 

“How long have you been there?” Steve asked him.

 

“The whole time, and I have to say I have never seen Nat that flustered in my entire time of knowing her.” He said still trying not to laugh.

 

Steve rolled his eyes and was about to answer before Clint started speaking again, “So you guys haven’t done it yet?” he asked waggling his eyes at Steve.

 

“Done what—oh Clint no! Were not together, were just really good friends,” Steve replied feeling blush creep up his neck, “anyways I gotta go, see ya Clint.” He scurried of as fast as he could desperate to get out of there.

 

“Whatever you say Cap,” he heard Clint, and he could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

 

Steve got out of there as fast as he could, not wanting to hear anything else Clint might have to say about him and Natasha. Afraid the actual truth might come out about how he was starting to feel about her. He had been afraid if he had gone and taken that shower with her, he wouldn’t have been able to hold him self back from taken her right then and there. There friendship was way more important to him, and if Natasha didn’t feel the same way; it might be over and he didn’t think he could live with that.

When Steve got out of the shower, he dressed in a pair of jeans and casual button up shirt. He heard his phone buzz on the dresser indicating he had a message. It was from Natasha.

 

‘Ready?’ the message read.

 

‘Yeah be down in a sec’ he replied.

 

Natasha was waiting for him in the Avengers main living room by the time her made it down. She was wearing a mini skirt that did wonders to her flawless creamy legs and a button up green blouse . She looked nervous and kept fidgeting with her purse. The instant he walked up to her she began apologizing.

 

“Steve I’m so sorry I said that, I hope I didn’t fuck anything up I—”

 

“Natasha, Nat stop stop.” He interrupted, “Its okay really, don’t worry about it okay?” She nodded. “Now lets go have a awesome day okay?” he gave her a warm smile and held his hand out to her.

 

“Okay,” she smiled and took his hand.

 

They went to the mall in downtown New York, and Natasha was making Steve try on every conceivable shirt or pants that seem to exist. “I can’t tell if I like the blue one or the tan one better, which one Steve?”.

 

Steve groaned, they had been in this one store, with what felt like forever and Natasha was being incredibly indecisive about everything. “Seriously Nat, you have been looking at those same shirts forever just pick one already,” She shot him a glare that made Steve wish he hadn’t said that, so he quickly finished up with, “The blue ones good.”

 

“Well I like the tan one better so tough luck,” she sassed back at him.

 

“It’s for me Nat, I should be the one to pick it out and choose the one I want to wear.” Steve told her seriously getting annoyed by now.

 

“Well I’m going to be the one seeing you wear it and its just going to remind how I liked the tan one better, so this is the one were getting Steven,” She shot back at him, and Steve wasn’t sure if she was playing or being serious. “Now come on, lets go try this one on, I wanna make sure they fit first.” She grabbed his arm and starting tugging on it like a child towards the fitting rooms. Steve realized how serious she was about this and how happy it made her and that was all that mattered to him and decided to let her get her own way. Ha! Like she wouldn’t have anyway.  
He was just about to shut the door to the fitting room when Natasha, being the sneak she was, darted in behind him and closed the door.

 

“Nat…what the hell are you doing!?” he gaped at her.

 

“Steve I’ve seen you without a shirt on so many times, we have taken a shower together for gods sake and you gave me countless baths while I was down…I thinks its okay for me to see you with your shirt off in the fitting room,” she ranted then looking away embarrassed of herself. Steve reached out and pulled her into a hug pressing a kiss into her hair.

 

“Hey its okay I don’t care…I just overreacted is all,” he pulled back and unbuttoned his other shirt letting it drop to the floor. Natasha felt a rush of heat run over her all the way down to her core when she saw its abs, nearly whimpered just by looking at them. She felt her genitals heat up and her panties dampen slightly. Holy shit Natasha get ahold of yourself! Steve must have noticed by the way her breath became slightly ragged and her cheeks flushed. He noticed she refused to make eye contact with him and her eyes were darting anywhere but his, “Nat you okay?” he asked her.

 

“Yeah,” she gasped slightly, “here”, she shoved his shirt in his face. Once he had buttoned the new shirt in place her asked her,

 

“Well how does it look?”

 

“It looks sexy I—I mean it looks good,” she stammered her voice throaty.

 

Steve smirked at her reaction, “You sure Nat, you seem a but flustered there,”

 

“What?” she gasped, “No I don’t y-you you look very handsome in it, were definitely getting it,” she sorta gargled out. Steve decided not to push it and just pay for the shirt and get out of there.

 

Once they left the store, went to another couple of places, luckily not near as long, but Natasha informed him as they were leaving American Eagle that she had to go to Victoria secret and he was coming with her.

 

“Oh hell no Nat I--I’ll stay outside the door while you get what um ever you need to get,” he stuttered, feeling a blush creep up his neck.

 

Natasha smirked at him wickedly, “Well, well look whose all flustered now,” she teased him.

 

“Nat come on you know what I mean.” He was really trying so she had some mercy on him. However he had been the one that had been dragged around the whole store to please her.

 

“Fine, I’ll go myself only…..” she turned around and walked up close to him bringing her lips close to his ear, “I’m going to be trying on very sexy lingerie soo if you get bored…(she bit his earlobe slightly).. you’ll know where to find me,” and with that she sauntered off swaying her hips just a little more than necessary. It especially didn’t help with that mini skirt either. Steve nearly choked, he knew she was a tremendous flirt and she knew just how to play people to. He glanced down at the boner in his pants. ‘Seriously Natasha’ he thought, quickly put the bag of clothes in front of his pants hoping now one would notice and awkwardly sat down in the chair next to the door. Natasha took absolutely forever in the store; Steve couldn’t help but start to nod off and was startled awake when something flicked his ear. Hard.

 

“Nat!” he gasped.

 

She was grinning at his holding to large bags in her hand, “I’m starving, wanna go eat something?”

 

Steve stomach rumbled in response to that and they both laughed, “I guess that’s a yes,” Nat giggled.

 

They left the mall and went to a small diner down the street. Steve ordered two large hamburgers and a milkshake and Natasha only ordered a small cheeseburger and fries.

 

“We gotta hurry and eat, the movie starts in fifteen minutes.” Natasha mumble to him her mouth full of food.

 

“You really wanna go see a horror movie Nat… I mean we see it enough in real life” Steve asked her.

 

“Its just a movie Steve, and I have been dying to go see it. Please can we?” she used her puppy dog eyes on him knowing it always worked.

 

He sighed, “Of course we can, now come on lets go.” Steve paid for their meal and headed for the cinema. They arrived at the theater a few minutes before it started, rushed to get there tickets and were able to make it inside before the movie began. Natasha got the very back seats in the corner so the were secluded from everyone else. They got about ten minutes into the movie and a scene came up where some sorta of demon was chasing after a kid, Steve didn’t really think the movie was to scary but Natasha let out a shriek and clambered up onto his lap burying her face in his neck. Steve turned his head towards her pressing his cheek against her own.

 

“What’s wrong Nat?” he whispered in her ear. His voice sending tingles down her back.

 

“Nothing…its just I guess I really don’t like horror movies like I thought I did,” she whispered back. He pulled back slightly to look at her, there lips inches apart, “I’m sorry…you wanna leave?” he asked her softly, there lips getting closer, her head still resting on his shoulder.

 

“I don’t kno—” Steve cut her off by smashing his lips against hers. Natasha had to fight the urge to moan and kissed him back with equal intensity . She nipped his lips to keep herself quiet there passionate kissing was getting more and more intense. Natasha could feel Steve’s hand creeping up her leg, then he was sliding it along her inner thigh. She could feel herself getting wetter by the minute her breath hitching in anticipation. He grazed his fingers along the rim of her panties then rubbed one finger very slightly against her clit, through the lace. Natasha pressed her mouth into Steve’s neck to prevent from gasping out loud and alerting the whole audience what they were doing. She was writhing and squirming in desperation on his lap, wanting more as his fingers continued to tease her. His lips sucking and kissing all over her neck. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“Steve,” she whimpered as quietly as she could.

 

“What? is this good?” he asked her, pushing her panties to the side and sliding a single finger into her slick folds.

 

“I cant take it anymore, l-lets go,” she barely got out as Steve thumb found her clit and applied small amounts of pressure to it. She nearly cried out, if Steve hadn’t pressed his lips to her swallowing her moans in time. He scooped her in his arms and carried her out not caring if anyone saw them. Natasha was cradled in his arms her head resting in the crook of his neck. By he time they reached his truck outside, Steve set her down slamming her back, not hard enough to hurt, into his truck kissing her furiously. They barely managed to open the back door, for Steve to pick her up and lay her gently down on the back seat, pressing his lips to hers again. He began kissing his way up her jaw until he reached her earlobe and took he between his teeth and bit down gently. Natasha squirmed desperate, aching wanting more and more. She felt utterly overwhelmed and they had barely gotten started yet.

Maybe it was because nobody had paid this much attention to her in so long she forgot what it felt like, and maybe because that person was Steve.  
“Steve,” she whimpered, “please…can’t wait anymore”. He smiled and whispered to her that she had to be patient and that good things came to those that waited. He began unbuttoning her blouse and pulled it off her. Her chest was flushed and her breast were practically spilling out of her lacey black bra. Nat grabbed at Steve’s shirt pulling it over his head, not wanting to be the only one getting naked. Steve unsnapped her bra throwing it some where in the truck. Natasha giggled at him.

 

“I’m gonna need that for the ride back,” she gasped out. He only smirked at her and leaned down to kiss her valley between her breast, he kissed his way all around her mound and when Nat thought he was finally gonna take her nipple into his mouth he would move away. She grabbed his head to try to coaxing him into taking it, but he grabbed both of her wrist locking them in his strong hand and locked them above her head so she couldn’t move.

 

“Goddamn you, Rogers,” she gasped out.

 

He chuckled, “Patience love,” and then he licked right around her bud with the tip of tongue before finally taking in his mouth and sucking hard on it. Natasha cried out, struggling against his hand, trying to get hers loose so she could tug on his hair. He pulled his mouth of her with a wet pop and made his way to the other repeating the same action. He finally began kissing his way down her stomach , sliding of the seat of the truck till he sat on his knees on the floorboard. He pulled Natasha up into a sitting position, pulled her skirt and panties of, tired of waiting he yanked her legs over his shoulders. Natasha let out an wanton moan. He looked up at her for a moment. Her eyes were dark with lust and desire her breathing was ragged, her chest heaving.

 

“What do you want Natasha?” he whispered his voice low.

 

She shivered and bucked her hips up his response, trying to press her pussy against his face, “I want you,” she whimpered, “Steve please,” she begged.

 

He pressed a kiss to her inner thigh all the way up until he reached her dripping pussy entrance. He nuzzled her dark red curls before finally sliding his tongue into her sopping lips. She writhed about him, bucking her hips against his face. He wrapped his lips around her swollen clit giving it a gentle suck while bringing his fingers up and sliding two into her wet cavern. She screamed out his name getting closer and close to release.

 

“AH! Steve! just like that…I-’m about to cum,” she barely managed at Steve applied more pressure to her clit.

 

“Yeah? You like this baby? Is this what you wanted?” he asked her in between licks.

 

“Y-yes!” She cried out, “e-exactly what I wanted.” She was now gripping his hair as tight as she could until his face was buried in her folds. He moved his fingers to circle and massage her clit, and slipped his tongue inside her wet hole, licking around her walls. She came. She came hard, screaming and squirting all her juices on his face and neck.

 

“FUCK!” she screamed, her face twisted in ecstasy as she came. Steve continued kissing a sucking her folds gently as she came down from her high. He kissed his way back up to her lips, slipping his tongue inside letting her taste herself off of him. He gently laid her back on the seat to take a look at her and make sure she was okay. Her hair was matted to her forehead. Sweat was trickling down her cheeks and between her breast. She was still panting and gasping trying to catch her breath from such an intense orgasm that he had given her.

 

“You okay?” he gently whispered to her, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek and stroke is thumb underneath her eye.

 

“Amazing…no ones treated me like that in a long time…thank you Steve,” she whispered to him. He smiled and said of course and he would do anything for her. Natasha reached up to pull his belt off him but Steve gently pushed her hands away. She stared at him in question.

 

“Nat I’m…” he paused for a second, “I’m not small by any means…I’m not saying that to brag, its just the serum enhanced everything…I don’t wanna hurt you.” He told her. If he hurt her, he would never be able to forgive himself.

 

“No! you can’t stop now, I can take it. Please Steve I like it hard,” she whimpered. He kissed her again letting his forehead rest on hers for a moment.

 

“Okay,” he finally whispered. He unbuckled his pants and pulled them and his boxers off. He wasn’t kidding. He was huge. Natasha raised a trembling hand and gently wrapped her hand around his cock and began stroking it gently. Steve groaned and pushed her hands away leaned down to give her a deep passionate kiss.

 

“You sure about this?” he whispered against her lips. She nodded and bit her lips when she felt Steve fingers on her pussy again, making sure she was wet enough. “Nat if its to much, you stop me okay,” she nodded at him but Steve shook his head wanting her hear her verbal consent. “No baby, say it out loud,”

 

“I’ll stop you I promise, now fuck me already,” she whined letting her legs fall wide open for him. Steve let out a growl and lined him self up to her entrance, using his fingers to help spread her folds wide. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers to stifle her cries as he gently began pushing his shaft inside her. She felt as though she was being ripped opened. Her walls were instinctively trying to clamp down on him. “Darling relax,” Steve whispered as his finger began rubbing her clit to distract her. It hurt, but it felt good at the same time, the slow pleasing burn of her walls being stretched. Filled. A couple tears escaped her eyes before she could blink them back and Steve stopped immediately.

 

“Tasha?” he whispered stroking her cheek with the back of his hand, “ is it to much baby?” he asked her with such worriedness and love his voice Natasha felt her heart melt.

 

“No…go s-slower though,” she whimpered. He continued gently as he could doing everything possible to distract her from the pain, by kissing her neck, her lips, sucking on her nipples, and rubbing her clit until he was fully seated inside. He stayed still letting her adjust until Natasha started rocking her hips up indicating she wanted him to moved.

 

“Are you okay love?” he asked wanting to make sure she was a hundred percent on board with this.

 

“Steve Grant Rogers if you don’t move this very second than I’m definitely not gonna be okay!” she growled at him bucking her hips up. He smiled at her and pulled back, grabbed her hips and pulled out till the tip was barely inside and slammed back into her. She screamed in delight. She had never fell so full in her entire life. His cock was rubbing every sensitive spot inside her that she didn’t even know existed. And oh fuck she can already feel her second orgasm and she’s about to…oh god, she whimpering and clawing at him desperate to hold on to something.

 

“Steve!” She screamed as she came all over his cock. Her juices dripping down onto the seat.

Steve didn’t let up and leaned down to crush there lips together. He could see that she was getting tired, so whispered to her to come once more and reached down and stroked her clit. It only took minutes as she shrieked out his name bringing him with her over the blissful edge. His cum was surging inside her, filling her so full that it leaked out around them and on the leather of the seats. He gently pulled out of, feeling his cock jolt when he saw their juices still spilling out of her tight hole. Gathering her limp body in his arms, Steve wrapped his large shirt around her and gently laid her on the back seat covering her as best he could.

“Was that good…I didn’t go to far did I?” he asked her.

 

“No, Steve it was perfect,” she whispered, her voice hoarse from all the screaming she had done.

 

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her, once her pulled away he whispered, “I’ve got to drive home now…you gonna be okay laying back here? You need to rest.” Steve told her.

 

“Yeah I’m going to be okay…oh and Steve can we….can not tell anyone about us yet?” she asked him. Not knowing if she was ready for all of this, especially if the whole team was teasing them constantly.

 

He kissed her again before answering, “Of course, doll I understand,”

 

By the time Steve made it back to the tower, parking in his private lot, Natasha was fast asleep. He still didn’t have a shirt on and her clothes were mostly scattered around the car. And she only had his shirt covering not very much of her tiny form. Steve gathered in his arms, wrapping the shirt tightly around her, covering as much as he could. He asked Jarvis where everyone was and he responded telling him that everyone was gone, and that they were the only ones there. That Tony had some sort of business meeting and Sam was in D.C. and Clint was at home with his family and the others were out just doing there own thing.

He took her to his room and gave her a warm bath, squatting outside of it and running a cloth over her to relax her sore muscles. Natasha had yet to have waken up, even with the bath. Steve must have really worn her out. (or maybe not)

 

“Steve?” she asked him groggily.

 

“Hey, how you feeling?” he asked her, brushing her wet curls away from her face.

 

“Mmm sore…my pussy aches,” she murmured to him. But when she saw the worried look on his face she quickly reassured him, “oh but it’s the good kind of ache, Steve, I haven’t felt this way in a long time….or ever really. No on has ever treated me so lovingly like you do,” she whispered to him reaching out to cup his face.

 

“Well,” he begin, “when you love someone, you don’t even think about it…there the most precious thing in the world and you treat them like the rare gem that they are.” Steve told her.

 

“You love me?” she gasped half sobbed out.

 

He nodded, “Yes Nat, I love you so damn much baby,” he leaned in a kissed her pouring every fiber of his being into that kiss. When he pulled away Natasha had tears streaking down her face.

 

“I don’t deserve you,” she whispered.

 

Steve shook his head, “Natasha you deserve the world, sweetheart, you deserve everything,” he said it with such passion and love that Nat nearly believed him. She just couldn’t see how such a bad person like her could deserve someone like Steve. But she just sobbed out in reply, “I love you to, so goddamn much,”

They were meant to be together and even if she didn’t deserve him she didn’t care, they loved each other and that’s all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn’t to cheesy. Anyway let me know what y’all thought:)


	8. Goodbye’s are so hard

After that night, it wasn’t long until everyone found out about them. Clint was the first, although he already suspected it, he had walked in on them in the living room with the two making out furiously on the couch. Tony found them sucking of each others faces in the kitchen. Sam and Wanda walked in on the two half naked in the gym and both of them screamed at the same time and ran out. Wanda or Sam couldn’t look Steve or Natasha in the face for nearly a week. Bruce was on his way to his lab, and right before he opened the door he heard a shriek and something crashing.

 

“Jarvis?” he gulped nervously, “what’s going on in there?”.

 

“Its appears Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff are engaging in intercourse, Sir.” The doctor visibly paled and did and one eighty getting out of there as quickly as he could.

 

They were madly in love with each other, and nothing could separate the two. Whenever Steve would have to be extra late at SHEILD, Natasha would start calling him and whine at him to hurry up.

***************************************

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon at the Stark Tower. New York seemed quiet. No invasions or cities that needed saving. Right now everything seemed to just be peaceful in the world. So whole team was just lazing around the living room, Wanda was playing chest with Sam and kept cheating by reading his mind. Tony and Clint were trying to show Thor, who had just returned from Asgard the night before, how to play Xbox. Bruce and Vision were having some sort of scientific talk that know one understood. And Steve was just laying on the couch with Natasha, who hadn’t been feeling well recently, snuggled up against his side with a blanket covering her, so that only her fuzzy head stuck out. That was until Sam screamed ‘YES!’ because he had just taken out Wanda’s queen, jolting Natasha from her deep slumber. ‘Children’ she groaned inwardly.

“Sam,” Steve admonished, “you woke Nat up.”

Sam glanced at Natasha, who was giving him a ferocious glare, gulping he muttered a quick sorry, looking like a kid who had just been scolded by the so called “parents” of the team. Wanda, on the other hand, was in a fit of giggles seeing Sam get in trouble.  
Steve noticed out of the corner of his eyes Natasha smirking In satisfaction as she slithered deeper under that blanket. He kissed her gently on the forehead tucking her back into his side to soothe her back to sleep. But it wasn’t for long. Steve’s phone starting ringing only minutes later.

Natasha groaned, “Seriously, I can’t even take a nap on our day off without being interrupted?”

Steve pressed a quick kiss to her lips before picking her up off the couch, so he could get up, before laying her back gently.

 

“Sorry, baby I have to take this, be right back.” He grabbed his phone and headed out of the room for some privacy. Natasha cuddled back down and waited for him but, after a good fifteen minutes he still hadn’t showed. Natasha huffed and got up, wrapping the blanket securely around herself and stomped off to find him. She found him in the hall, right around the corner of the living room, gazing out over New York through the large, glass window. His eyes were distant, deep in thought.

 

“Steve” she called to him.

He turned around to look at the redhead, smiling slightly at her small form engulfed by the large blanket. She looked quite adorable, hair mussed and going every which direction. Her eyes slightly puffy from sleep, and her plump lips in a pout.

 

“Hey, love you shouldn’t be up. How are you feeling?” he asked drawing her close and pressed his lips to her temple. When she didn’t respond he pulled back, eyebrows furrowed to look at her.

 

“What’s wrong, Nat?” he asked.

 

She huffed, “I don’t know…I feel dizzy and slightly nauseous.”

 

His eyes furrowed with worry, “Do we need to go see Bruce?” he asked her.

 

She shook her head, “No its okay, I’ll be fine probably just a bug of something….but the real question is who called? Why did it take so long?”

 

Steve glanced back out the window again before turning and cupping her cheek, “Nat we need to talk, love” he told her.

 

Natasha instantly put her guard up, “Steve…what’s going on? Your scaring me..” she said her big, green, eyes filling with worry.

 

“Lets go back to our room okay? It will be best.” He said and scooped her into his arms. Natasha didn’t say anything the whole way back. She realized it had to be important from the way Steve looked. They got back to “ their” room, which had been Steve’s. (The couple had decided to move in only a couple days after that one special night. They didn’t see any reason in staying apart when all they wanted to do was to be around each other twenty-four seven. Natasha didn’t have nightmare’s anymore, not when she was securely locked against his chest every night making her feel more safe than she had in years.) He sat down with her on the couch holding her tightly in his arms. When he still didn’t say anything after a few moments, Natasha had had enough.

 

“Talk to me Steve.” She said her voice firm.

 

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment then started. “Nat…Fury’s the one who called um… they found a lead on Bucky…”

 

Natasha felt her heart clench the instant he mentioned Bucky. She knew Steve would want to go after him. She knew how risky it was, and she also knew he would never let her go with him for her safety.

 

“Nat?” Steve called, pulling her away from her thoughts.

 

She cleared her throat quickly, and looked deep into his blue eyes, “Where? Where is he?”

 

“Hydra base…in Ukraine.” Steve answered hesitantly.

 

Natasha nodded and looked away for a moment, “If I didn’t want you to go…would you stay?” she asked, trying to keep her voice from quivering.

 

Steve cupped to cheeks and leaned in to kiss her gently on the lips before pulling back and whispering, “Yes, I’ll stay if you really do not want me to go.”

 

Natasha nodded again and struggled out of his grip to get up. She starting pacing the living room. She couldn’t even think, she knew how dangerous it was and even Steve being a super soldier didn’t mean he was invincible; the idea of losing Steve made her nearly break down in tears just to think about it. Steve got up and walked over to her, trying to wrap his arms around her, but she pulled away shaking her head.

“H-how long” she choked out. How long would he be gone? Steve didn’t know, it could be months. He knew the risks. He also knew how dangerous Hydra was, and that there was a chance he could get killed. He didn’t answer just closed his eyes and shook his head.

 

She nodded numbly and pinched the bridge of her nose .“Will Sam go with you?” she asked after a few moments.

 

“I haven’t talked to him yet—

 

“When?” she interrupted.

 

“When what?”

 

“When would you leave?”

 

Steve squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments before whispering, “Five in the morning…tomorrow.”

 

Natasha felt a wave a nausea hit her. She instantly ran to the bathroom, throwing up all the contents of earlier that day. Steve was at her side in a second, pulling her hair away from her face and the other soothingly rubbing her back as her trembling form heaved. He left her side for a minute just to get a cool rag to wipe her mouth. When she finished, she leaned back against him as a single teardrop rolled down her cheek. Steve pulled her into his lap and rocked her gently back and forth whispering that it was going to be okay. Finally after a several minutes she spoke, her voice was soft.

“You have to go”

 

“What? Nat no your sick, and its time for me to let him go—"

“No!” she interrupted turning in his arms to cup his cheeks, “There’s no choice here Steve, you can’t give up on him, because if it was me.....I wouldn’t want you to give up.” She whispered.

 

“Tasha I can’t leave you like this—

 

“I’m fine, really I told you it was probably just a bug, but I’ll be fine. Steve as much as it pains me to see you leave , you have to. We knew that something like this would come sometime…its our job. I’ll never be able to live with myself if I knew I was the reason that withheld you.”

 

“I would never blame you Natasha, your my life now and I love you more than anything” Steve replied softly.

 

“I know you wouldn’t, but I would. I love you more than anything to Steve but you also made a promise to Bucky…that you would be with him till the end of the line. So go. Go talk to Sam and go after him, but…” she paused and cleared her throat, “ you have to come back to me,” she said trying to blink the tears back that were threating to fall down her cheeks.

 

Steve stared at her for a few moments thanking god at how lucky he was. She was the most amazing women and he couldn’t be more thankful for. “Okay” he replied. She nodded and leaned forward resting her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head, savoring the feeling of her warm, tiny body in his arms. After a few moments Steve noticed Natasha eyes beginning to droop so he carried her back to their bed, whispering that he would go talk to Sam now and would be back in a little while. Natasha nodded and closed her eyes as sleep took her tired body again.

 

When Steve told Sam about it, he immediately decided to come with him leaving Steve no other choice. They planned to have the quinjet ready at the top of the tower for them by morning, to make it easier for them instead of having to drive to SHIELD. When Steve told the rest of the team, they all wanted to come but Steve told them that he couldn’t be grateful enough, but that he needed them to stay with Natasha and Sam was enough. After finally convincing them and saying goodbye he headed back to his room to spend the rest of the hours with Natasha.

By the time evening came, Natasha had become very clingy. They had lain around most of the day, not wanting to do much else than to be in each others presents. Nat had gotten a small nap and was feeling better. They were currently snuggled up on the couch watching a movie when Steve heard Natasha snore. Yes the Black widow snored! He chuckled softly and scooped her into his arms, shut the TV off and carried her to their bedroom. He pulled the clothes off that she had been in all day and slipped her into one of his large, comfy t-shirts so she could be more comfortable . He was tucking her under the covers and was fixing to head to the bathroom being as quiet as he could when he felt something tugging on his shirt.

 

“Don’t go” Natasha called firmly gripping his t-shirt.

 

Steve turned around and leaned down to kiss her forehead, “I’ll be right back, darling”

 

But Nat shook her head, “No come here…please” she begged pulling him on top of her. Steve gave in the instant he saw her green eyes pleading with him just to stay. He rolled off of her as not to crush her small frame and pulled her into his side placing gently soothing kisses all over her face. He didn’t say anything about the water in her eyes just kept whispering that he loved her and everything would be okay until sleep took them.

 

Five in the morning came to soon. Steve turned his alarm off quickly before it woke the sleeping assassin next to him. She groaned slightly and shifted but after a few soothing kisses from Steve she grew quiet again. He took a quick shower, and shaved quietly as he could. His uniform was already, ready to go, on the chair in their room, that he had set out the night before. He slipped in it, snapped his helmet in place and wrote a quick letter to Natasha. He set it down on the table beside there bed and leaned in to kiss her lips.

 

“I love you my princess,” he whispered softy against them. He took one last glance at her sleeping form before leaving their room.

Sam was already waiting on the roof of the tower when Steve made it to the top.

 

“She finally let you go?” Sam asked him when Steve walked out.

 

Steve shook his head, “I didn’t wake her up, otherwise she may not have”

 

Sam nodded and the two walked up the ramp and prepared for takeoff. As the plane left the ground Steve happened to glance back at the tower just in time to see the door to the roof fly open and somebody in a white sheet waving their arms at them. He immediately recognized who it was by way the moonlight was hitting her red flames. Natasha.

 

“Sam!” he called, “turn around now!”

 

“What?” Sam asked confused.

 

“Just do it!” he snapped.

 

“Alright, hold on” Steve grabbed the handles on the jet, as Sam sharply turned it around and headed back towards the tower. Steve leaped off the plane before Sam had even had a chance to land it. Natasha had collapsed onto the floor, the sheet loosely around her, sobbing. The cold, sharp December winds whipped around her but she didn’t even seem to care. She had woken up minutes before and realized that Steve wasn’t beside her and had begin to panic. When she noticed it was barely after five and that maybe just maybe he hadn’t left, she grabbed the sheet off the bed and raced to the roof. But by the time she had made it there the jet was already leaving. She cried out in despair and waved her arms at it hoping that somehow he would see her.

Now as she felt warm arms incasing her and lifting her up she instantly knew it was Steve. He cradled her into his arms, wiping the tears away from her eyes.

 

“Nat…” he whispered.

 

“Don’t go” she sobbed, “Steve please…I can’t lose you…I can’t!”

 

He squeezed her tighter and rubbed his hands up and down her arms to try and keep her warm. “Baby your not going to lose me, that’s a promise Natasha…hey look at me” he said pulling her chin so he could lock his eyes with hers. “I promise you Nat, I’m coming back home okay?”

She didn’t answer just clung to him tighter and cried quietly into the crook of his neck. She sniffed before she spoke again, her voice quiet, timid almost. “You promise?”

 

He kissed her head before whispering back, “Yes darling I promise”

He carried her back to there bed and tucked her in once more and stayed with her until sleep to her once more. Once he was sure she was completely asleep he kissed her one more time before getting up quietly and glancing at her one more time before closing the door to their room.

 

“Goodbye my love” he whispered quietly to himself as the jet flew away from New York and a single tear fell down his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn’t getting boring. I just don’t have a talent for writing. Anyway I hope you liked this and correct me if there are mistakes! I hope to have more exciting chapters soon:)


	9. Missing You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry I haven’t updated sooner. I wasn’t sure how to write the next one. And I’ll try to post the next one sooner than this one. Anyway I hoped you liked this chapter. Correct me on mistakes!:):)

When Nat woke up the next morning, nausea hit her instantly. She leaped out of bed, racing to the bathroom and retched violently.

 

“God…”she groaned clutching the toilet seat tightly, “Steve….” She called out. Then she remembered. Steve wasn’t here. She had been in such a hurry to the bathroom, that she had literally almost forgotten that he was gone. Having been so accustomed to waking up, with her face buried his neck, inhaling his scent. His morning kisses all over her neck and face. Whispering how much he loved her and that she was the most beautiful person in the world. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“Nooo…steve” she cried helplessly. She already missed him so much.

She remembered back to the other morning when he had woken her up right before dawn, much to her annoyance because Natasha was not a morning person in the slightest. He had dragged her out of bed and bundled her up till she looked like a stuffed toy and carried her strait to Central park to watch the sunrise and then he preceded with a speech, with how grateful he was for her and how he loved her more than anything in the world, by the time he was done she had tears in her eyes and kissed him passionately. Oh god she loved him so much.

She struggled to pull herself up to the counter, brushed her teeth and washed her mouth out and crawled back into bed and just cried. She felt so weak and helpless. She couldn’t figure out what was wrong with herself—one minute she felt like she could eat everything in the refrigerator and the next she was throwing it all up. She knew she should go see Bruce, but she kept telling herself that she would be over it soon and just to give it time. She about to fall back asleep when Jarvis voice rang through the room.

“Miss Romanoff, Mr. Stark is wondering if you are up now?”

 

Natasha groaned, “Tell him I’m still sleeping”

 

Just then there was a knock at the door. “Go away”, Nat yelled hoarsely.

 

“WAKEUP RED!” Tony’s obnoxious voice rang through the room.

 

“Nat, we made breakfast for you, get up. Just because Steve’s gone doesn’t mean you get to mope around all day.” It was Clint’s voice now.

 

“I said go away!” she yelled back.

 

There was some silence outside and then she heard Wanda’s soft voice coming through the door. “Natasha are you alright? Steve said we were supposed to take care of you while were gone.”

Natasha softened. Of course Steve had had the team look out for her while he was gone. Not that they wouldn’t have or that she needed them to, but because he loved her and he wanted to know she was being taken care of while he away.

“I’m okay Wanda, just resting” she called back.

 

There was a pause before she answered, “Okay we’ll be here if you need anything” Wanda replied. Natasha thanked her and told them that if she needed anything that she would call them. They finally left and Natasha finally drifted off.

 

When she awoke again she was starving. She felt like she could eat a whole restaurant. The nausea was gone for now at least and even though she had slept for quite sometime her whole body felt utterly exhausted. She never felt this way unless she had had a very stressful mission that had worn her down but even that didn’t make her feel the way she did now, she really just had no energy now.

“Jarvis?” she called.

 

The AI responded immediately, “Yes, Miss Romanoff?”

 

“Have the team bring me a large cheese pizza with bread sticks, a cheeseburger and make sure they bring fries with ketchup…and I also want some mac and cheese, some lobster would be good to. Oh and one more thing I want a large Caesar salad with hotdogs mixed in it.”

 

“Miss Romanoff that’s a lot of food for one person, are you sure your alright?”

 

“Just get me the fucking food already!” she half screamed at Jarvis feeling irrationally angry and frustrated.

 

“Of course Miss. Romanoff, my apologies the food is on its way.”

 

She felt something wet hit her cheek and brought her hand up and noticed her cheek was slightly damp. “ What the fuck!?” she moaned, “what is wrong with me”. More frustrated tears fell down her cheek and she buried her face into the pillow wept her heart out. She finally pulled herself together enough to go take a shower. She looked at her self in the mirror while the shower steamed the bathroom up, her eyes were red and swollen and her cheeks seemed paler than usual. She sighed and climbed into the shower letting her body finally relax under the hot water and massage her tired body. She began scrubbing herself with Steve’s shampoo in her curls; It smelled just like him and it made her miss him even more. She wished he was there standing behind her whispering loving things to her, holding her in his arm-kissing her neck with butterfly kisses. Sometimes when she would be back from an exhausting day and be to tired to stand on her own feet, he would take care of her with such gentleness. He would wash her hair and massage her shoulders, rub her feet till she would be practically asleep and then he would tuck her into bed with a kiss and ‘I love you baby’. Somehow he could always turn her worse days into better ones and it wasn’t always from just massaging her shoulders or rubbing her feet. Some times he would get up and shower with her if she had a early day at SHEILD and they lasted always longer than usual.

She can still feel his hot breath on her neck as his hands traveled all over her milky curves, sending shivers down her spine. He would suck and nibble on her earlobe while his hands cupped her large breast and his fingers thumbed her nipples. She felt herself getting wet at just the memory of it. She brought her own hand up to her breast, imagining it was him, she pinched it slightly and twisted it between her thumb and index finger. She let out a quiet moan of pleasure while her finger circles the pink bud. She then slipped one of her hands down her stomach to her waiting folds while the other continued playing with her breast. She found her already swollen nub and gently circled it with her finger, imaging it was his instead. She played with it, circling it and tugging at it just like Steve would. He knew exactly how to make her come apart. He would spend hours finding out everything that would make her scream and cry out in pure pleasure. She kept playing and teasing her folds until her slick was now running down her inner thighs.

“Steve..” she whimpered pathetically. She wanted him so much.

She lifted her leg to the edge of the tub to give herself better access then slid her middle and index finger into her pussy finding that softy, spongy spot and began rubbing it furiously. The heal of her palm now ground against her clit bringing her closer and closer to the edge. Her mind became dirty. She wished Steve was on his knees in front of her, licking and nibbling at her. His large, gentle hands massaging her bottom and soothingly running up and down her thighs to help her along. She loved the look on his face right when her would suck her bundle of nerves into his mouth and she would come apart for him, shaking and gasping and crying out in pure ecstasy.

“Ah!” she cried as came hard-her juices coating her hand. She grabbed the handle of the shower wall for support, nearly losing her balance. Once her orgasm subsided she cleaned her self and stepped out of the shower into the steamy bathroom.

One she had dried and dressed herself, Jarvis announced her food had arrived. The food was waiting for her on the table in the kitchen. Her stomach grumbled and she licked her lips at the sight.

“That’s a lot of food for one person.” She jumped when she heard the voice. She hadn’t even noticed Clint slouched against the wall in the kitchen. “and I just scared the black widow…I guess there’s a first for everything.” He smirked.

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him, “What are you doing Clint?” she asked suspiciously.

 

“Just checking on you Nat, Steve did leave you in my charge you know”

 

“I don’t need a babysitter” she retorted.

 

“Yes I know that and I know how capable you are at taking care of yourself, but that doesn’t mean I cant check up on you and I know you Nat, but this isn’t usual for you…you never eat this much—”

 

“Are you saying I’m being a pig Barton?” she interrupted angrily.

 

“What Natasha no! I wasn’t saying that at all. I’m just saying your not the normal you. I know you miss Steve, Nat, trust me you know I know how that feels. I’m just saying you can talk to me…you know that.”

 

She sniffed slightly before responding, “You can stay and help me eat it” she offered. She had know clue what was wrong with herself. But she also didn’t want to talk about it then and she was also lonely and she needed her best friend. And Clint was always there for her when she needed him, even if she didn’t tell him everything he would always be supportive no matter what.

He smiled and nodded, “Yeah sure, but there’s know way in hell I’m eating that salad with hotdogs, jeez Nat!”

 

She giggled and nodded, “ I know, I know I have know idea why that sounded good”

 

Clint shook his head, “You’re a strange women Natasha”.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day was the same, and the next. She only felt nauseous at certain times of the day. She still felt has if she had know energy and was tired all the time. And of course she missed Steve terribly. Pepper dragged her and Wanda to go shopping and that took the entire day of course. She was tired by the end of it she collapsed the instant she hit her bed. She felt as if they had visited every clothing department in New York City.

But know one knew, she kept it from everyone and put up a front. But inside she felt so weak and she dared not let the others know. She knew they would never judge her. They were her family. But she still never would let on that she felt exhausted from walking from her bed to the kitchen. Her pride would never let her. Steve had become another part of her. And when he left she felt as if a piece of her was gone. Leaving her vulnerable and exposed.

 

  
It was now day thirteen since Steve had left. Things were about the same. Natasha would have small overnight missions, nothing serious. She would have to do stacks and stacks of paperwork at SHEILD for hours at a time. But things weren’t the same without Steve, of course. She hadn’t heard a word from him, she begged Fury for information but he said he would let her know as soon as he heard something.

It was a Saturday night at the Avengers Tower. Everyone was gathered in the living room playing games or watching a movie. Even Natasha was there, well after Wanda and Clint dragged her down from her room. She had just popped herself a bag of popcorn when she heard the elevator doors open. Know one else noticed until Natasha gasped and dropped the bowl of popcorn. They all turned saw Sam standing there. His face bloodied and bruised, his right eye swollen and red and it appeared he had been crying. The room became deadly slightly. Natasha felt sick at her stomach, and she visibly paled. She instantly knew something was wrong.

“Sam…” she asked, her voice trembled but she kept it calm, “where’s Steve?”

 

Everyone else had gathered around worried looks on all of there faces.

 

“H-he’s gone…Steve’s gone”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again please correct me and if there are mistakes. Comments mean a lot:) and thanks to all the kudos I’ve gotten!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think. I’m going to try to update every week. (Btw I accidentally deleted this so this is why I’m reposting it) :)


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